A Bad Day, a Hardshell 'n' Shockwave Adventure
by SRS Story-Writing Team
Summary: Shockwave does not want to talk to anyone. Why?


Just as Shockwave entered the house, tired, he heard one loud and distinct voice - that of Hardshell, "Oh you're back?"

Shockwave interrupted, asking Hardshell to remain silent, but Hardshell was never one who obeys orders. "How was the scrappy day?", he said, as usual. Shockwave interrupted once more, thinking it to be the last time, but was greeted by a shocking sight.

He exclaimed, "Wait. What the scrap is this?". Hardshell just said "My army. I am in command, and my second-in-command is the faithful Nabob Sunspot." To this, Shockwave just remarked, "A Nabob? Now you'll say that you're Robert Clive. And anyways, I am in no mood to talk."

All he heard in return was "Nor am I." After a brief pause, Hardshell instructed a blue APC to move forward, asking the "Blue Falcon" to march ahead. Shockwave joked about this remark, "Oh? So it was the General, then the Colonel and then you?" and corrected him, "And secondly it's Black Falcon." Hardshell asked him, with an expression of concern, "Anyways, what in this scrappy world happened to you, that you are in no M000," he said in his usual Roflchopper language, but corrected right after that, "I mean, no mood to talk? Did you fail your alphabet test?"

This was enough for Shockwave to see the sarcasm in his question. "Scrap you. It's high school. And I had a very bad day. First I woke up late, thanks to the alarm which rang a whole thirty minutes late. Due to that I missed the bus. Plus I didn't have any money in my wallet. So no public transport either. I had to walk." Now Shockwave thought of answering sarcasm with sarcasm. "Pretty good exercise, eh?" But the reply was not what Shockwave expected. Hardshell further carried on his interrogation - "So what? You gave your assignment which you told me not to touch."

Shockwave expressionlessly replied, "No, in no thundering way. How could I give? My assignment went M.I.A Missing in Action. I could speak a few lines on the topic and so was given a little share of what I deserved. I mean, a few thundering marks." Before Shockwave had completely said the word "marks", Hardshell interrupted as usual, asking him how many marks he got. Shockwave angrily said, "Mr. I-am-a-genius-and-I-know-all, guess yourself. It has two digits. One is a one and the other is a zero." Hardshell happily said, "Thanks for the compliment. And my guess is: Full ten." Shockwave interrupted and said, "No. It's just thundering zero-one. In other words, just one, simply one mark, or only one mark. I hope that much synonyms are sufficient to make the Genius Hardshell understand?" Hardshell understood the sarcasm this time, but said, "Thanks. I am a genius. I agree."

Shockwave asked Hardshell, "But does His-Great-Knowledge know what I was told to do?" Hardshell, continuing his spree of interruption, said "What?" Shockwave was surprised. "In the name of my non-existent whiskers, my four long horns or whatever you want, it's shameful. Really shameful to hear that." The answer was even more surprising - "Still what was it?", said casually as if it's some comedy show Hardshell wants to know about. Shockwave took a decision that he would speak it non-stop. Hardshell's ears became extra receptive when Shockwave started, "I was asked to...take the one as a thread and the zero as a bob and...swing the contraption that results from this combination like a pendulum."

A confused Hardshell asked, "Like what?", thinking that Pendulum was something related to a penguin's pen or something. "Like this," said Shockwave, and took out a pendulum, swinging it. Either he was swinging the pendulum or the pendulum was swinging him. What's certain is that one was swinging the other. And Shockwave reached a boom-end. Why not a dead-end? He did not die. He fell on the floor.

Hardshell could not control his Roflchopper. Shockwave angrily said, "You're laughing? I felt like a complete idiot. Having heard that kind of thing in front of everyone...plus if I remember correctly, I was also advised to take the one as a sling to climb rocks." Before Hardshell could add something further, Shockwave added, "And it is in no way related to Rock music."

Hardshell said, "I know why you felt like a complete idiot. Because you are. The greatest in the world. Or more like the king of fools and idiots spread across the universe and beyond. But anyways, all that you told me, all that you were asked to do, it's too good. Funny. Best joke in this world."

Shockwave could notice something in Hardshell's way of speaking, and he remarked, "Judging by the way you're saying that, undoubtedly you are behind this all. Means that you are the criminal. Thief or whatever you call it in Roflchopper language. Am I right or am I right?"

Hardshell kicked Shockwave hard and said, "Too wrong you are. Wrongest wrong-award goes to Mr. Wrong-Wave." Shockwave said, "Just mind your own business. Whether I get a prize or not, you surely should join Bone-breakers and Company, Limited. In other words, I may need an artificial bone or two. Or maybe a whole artificial skeleton. I forgot. This bone-breaking makes you eligible for a very very special reward. The reward is..."

Shockwave brought his hand closer to Hardshell. "...a dose of 2008 tight slaps. Yes. My high technology W.M.D fruitcakes."

Some time later, when Hardshell had been slapped 2007 times, Shockwave said, "That's two thousand and seven. And now time for the final blow. Two thousand...and eight." The moment he completed saying eight, he lifted his hand, tilted it left and right quickly like a ship moves during a storm, and after the tilting was done a few times, he hit Hardshell hard enough to crack the bug's hard shell. Well not really...

"You do what you say. Noted."

"You make notes about my habits Hardshell!?"

"Here you might be right. Might be wrong. Mostly right. Mostly."

Shockwave slaps Hardshell once more.

Shockwave manages to stand up, and just as Hardshell is about to do the same, Sunspot jumps onto Hardshell, saying "I impeach you," followed by the full speech that Edmund Burke gave during the Impeachment of Warren Hastings. But Shockwave had other plans for Sunspot. They had worked as a coalition government for a long time, but Shockwave could not allow a member of Hardshell's army to ally with him.

"And Sunspot, about you now. Is this how our coalition ends? I say yes. Mr. Treacherous, you're a part of Hardshell's army? To Unicron with him."

"Hey! Drink my Sipton Royal Tea and think my way."

But Sunspot was too late. Shockwave had already kicked Sunspot, forcing him to fall. Sunspot just said, "Make me fall, and you'll fall too. This is how the plans work."  
Shockwave could not make out the meaning of it but he soon realized - and faced it. "Stop pulling my leg. I mean literally pulling it." This is all Shockwave said.

After a long chase Shockwave caught Hardshell. Now the interrogation of Hardshell began.

"Paper eater, did you eat my homework?" asked Shockwave.

Hardshell just said an expressionless no, but Shockwave was not satisfied. He did some "servicing of the bug" in three steps:

"The bug has an itch." To provide relief from the itch to Hardshell, Shockwave scratched him using his "cactus-sharp" nails.

"The bug needs medicine." This medicine, was another bunch of W.M.D Fruitcakes, i.e, slaps.

"Mix the bug well." Shockwave shook Hardshell like one shakes and shakes and shakes and shakes a glass full of water and sand, to try to have the sand mix with the water.

Shockwave asked, "Now? I will not ask again."

Hardshell asked, "What scrappy paper are you talking about?"

"My homework. And if you doubt the logic behind my thought of you being guilty - don't doubt me. I am sure as scrap."

"What did it look like, Shockwave _sahib_?"

"White paper. Isn't that obvious _Maharaj_? It consisted of a hundred and fifty four sheets in a blue file. Titled Colonial Rule in India - Detailed Analysis. And anyways. For someone of your IQ, just recognizing the file and historical my own replicas of historical paintings is enough. Even if you do that successfully, you exceed expectations."

"ROFL. The file is in my stomach. Delicious paper."

Shockwave was furious. "In other words you have eaten it. Great. Come claim a second prize. Which is. Four thousand and sixteen ground slams with my Super cannon."

"Ow. Ouch. Please don't hurt. I'll do your work for you." All such things were said by Hardshell, but there was a bad news for him: "You'll do my work? You'll write all the scrapheap about Nabob Hardshell."


End file.
